100 Ways To Love You
by katieupatree
Summary: A story to celebrate the love of Castle and Beckett, written in one-hundred interlocking stories of their life together (there is a little more of an explanation inside). AU from 'The Lives of Others'. Reason 07: Telling Gates. Rated from K to T. Thank you to katietheunicorn for the beautiful cover image.
1. One

Hello..  
In honour of Castle celebrating its 100th episode, I have set myself the task of writing a story that will celebrate 100 of the reasons that Castle loves Beckett. Each chapter will be a story to explain the reason - a little moment in their lives too beautiful to pass by without a literary mention - each following on chronologically from the last.

**Disclaimer:** Everything and everyone belongs to their rightful owners, I am just borrowing them for a little while.

* * *

**One  
You love me, too**

The early evening in which they found themselves didn't hold the exceptionality that people so often speak of, the stars were not aligned and the world still spun quite ordinarily on its axis, but there was something so exquisite in the simple act of existing, of being a living, breathing part of that exact moment in time, that made Kate Beckett feel as if she had been travelling her entire life to reach it. The hazy sunshine and daisy scattered grass that flooded her senses with the dreamy longings of summer melded so effortlessly with the warmth of Castle beside her that the two seemed to exist as one; as if they had become unpinned from the real world and all that it held, free to drift through the remaining hours of their Saturday without a thought to anything but the pleasure of being together. Magical in a way that only lovers can truly know.

It had been a day of blissful nothingness, an unexpected break from the precinct after a gruesome case that had seemed endless in its dead-ends and brutal truths, Gates sending their team home late the night before with a tired smile and a weekend to do with as they pleased. Forty-eight hours that Castle and Beckett had promised not to waste, a rarely afforded luxury of knowing they could turn off their phones and think solely of themselves; of the wine they would sip and the kisses they would share. Time to be enjoyed, to be treasured, to be spent wrapped up in the wonders of a New York City summer.

Their morning had almost slipped into afternoon without realising, bodies and minds utterly exhausted, sunlight dancing through the cracks in the curtains as they had slept away the ache of the week.  
At a little past eleven Castle had awoken, blinking away the fog that lay heavy on his eyes, lips pressed softly to Kate's forehead as he had excused himself from the familiar tangle of their limbs, returning soon after with freshly brewed coffee and cinnamon bagels for two.  
"Mmm," Kate had sighed, messy haired and smiling sweetly, "good morning."  
"It is now," he'd replied, only half joking as he had waited for her to sit comfortably against the headboard before passing over the steaming coffee mug and settling back under the ivory duvet that smelled so deliciously of perfume and midmorning air.

Once plates and mugs had been discarded on the bedside table, Kate had pushed away the blankets with a satisfied kick of her legs, turning to straddle Castle's thighs, fingers stretched out as if by instinct to trace the flutter of his eyelashes as laughter had bubbled just beneath her sultry tone. "Oh, Mr. Castle, whatever will we do with ourselves today?"  
"Um, I don't know. We could read," smirked Castle in reply, eyes bright with mischief as his words had echoed those of their first morning together.  
"We could watch TV," added Kate.  
"Yeah, we could get something to eat."  
"We could do that," she'd teased, hands a shock of cold as they had finally reached Castle's flushed cheeks and lips curved as they dared him to kiss them; an invitation that had been too enticing to ignore, a morning made especially for the tantalising feel of their bodies entwined.

Neither could quite remember how they had reached their decision to join the tourists and New Yorkers alike who had flooded the gates of Central Park in search of ice cream and swing sets, only that their hearts had thrummed with the desire to do so. That somewhere within their day they had stumbled upon the idea of a picnic in the park and had headed out without a second thought, hand-in-hand and stepped perfectly in time, their lazy hours of love unfurled perfectly behind them and the promise of every heated pathway so great that the entire City could so easily have been a dream.

They had fallen so effortlessly into the afternoon that it felt as if it had always belonged to them, a miracle so ordinary that it was able to seep into their bones and pulse within their blood. Proving that the simple things in life - homemade sandwiches and icy lemonade, running on bare feet like little kids until your legs can't carry you any further, tumbling into kisses as laughter falls from your lips - really are the sweetest things that you could ever have the pleasure of experiencing.

And now, as they lay stretched out amidst the remnants of their day, the ground cooling as the sun graced the world with its final rays and the strength of Castle's arms to hold her close, Kate could think only of the words that she had been holding safely in her heart for some time now. Once caged words that had seemed too big, too bold to ever be spoken aloud, but that now held the very hopes and dreams of her soul.

Turning in the circle of Castle's embrace, heartbeat quickened with unimaginable joy, Kate knew that this simple summer's day would mark the beginning of the life they had been destined to live together. Breath but a whisper and noses bumped together, she finally allowed every last brick of those twisted, tainted walls to fall from her mind and she spoke the words that would set them both free, "I love you."

"I love you, too," replied Castle, wanting to stay forever in that moment, but needing so desperately to kiss her, to make Kate feel his love as she had hers, to taste the words on her lips and remember them until the end of time. _To remember them, always._

* * *

To be continued..

I hope that you enjoyed the first chapter, and I would love to know what you think of the idea as a whole?

Thank you for reading,  
Katie xx

Twitter: katieupatree


	2. Two

**Two  
How you breathe so deeply in the middle of the night**

In the years leading up to that night, _their night_, Castle had fantasised a thousand times about how it would be to sleep beside her, to lie amidst the darkness and know the feel of Kate Beckett beneath the billows of their cotton sheets, and in the months since, he had learnt that the reality was a creation of beauty far beyond the reach of his imagination. An imagination that could fathom vampires and zombies and international spies on a daily basis, that could trek the depths of ancient history and fall through future millennia without so much as breaking a sweat, and yet, to dream of Kate, to fully grasp the wholeness of what it would mean to fall asleep next the woman he loved, that was an impossibility unlike any he had ever known. To share those midnight hours that time forgets and love remembers, that was a pleasure beyond thought, beyond dreams. It belonged solely to the truth, to a completeness that must be nurtured, treasured, uncovered a little more with each blissful night that passed them by.

The first night that they had shared was too much to learn from, too overflowing with a raw and desperate need to be as one, to sleep with passion and lust, to run to the very edge of human possibilities and cling to life with all that they had. It was an enigma, every atom of their existence burning with the years of false truths and hidden desires, too big and bright to know anything but the excruciating wonder of finally being together. It had been right and it had been true, but it had also been as far from the everyday reality as Castle's imaginings had; a singular moment in their lives, a once in a lifetime event.

The real truths could exist only with the luxury of time, that night had brought them together exactly as it should have, but then it was gone and the midnight darkness that had once seemed so hopeless was transformed into a haven of new experiences. Their relationship had started life with a crisp, white page of possibilities, neither able to quite understand what it would mean to share the most intimate hours of their lives with one another, both discovering it to be an honour too great to ever fully have the words to express.

Almost four years ago Castle had sat alone in his study and written a bucket list, '_be with Kate_' printed at the top like a wish on birthday candles, and now every night that they spent together felt as if that wish were coming true all over again. A dream brought to life by ink-stained hands that roamed hungrily across ivory skin and lips that kissed until they both remembered that they also needed to breathe. A vision of happiness, the call of his name as Kate unravelled at his touch and the moment afterwards, a stitch in time that bubbled with laughter and burned with love. And then, later, sometimes minutes and sometimes hours, when her heartbeat is steady and her entire being lost to dreams, that is when he learns a little more of what it means to sleep beside her.

It is then that he feels the extraordinary weight of their love, like a little boy listening for the jingle of Christmas bells in the dead of night, a task of magic. Each night he recalls all that he has already learnt of the beautiful detective who sleeps soundly by his side, the heavy warmth of her body pressed close to his own and the subtle scent of cherries that permeates the air. He fights against the seductive draw of sleep for as long as he can manage; hoping to see the clock tick past two am, for that strange little hour of the morning has slowly become his favourite in the months that they have been together. He lets his arms loosen a little and cherishes the feel of Kate's sleepy attempts to turn to the right, knees nestled between his and nose buried to hollow of his collarbones, coming to rest with the deep breaths of faraway lands. It is that, the way she breathes so deeply in the middle of the night, that Castle would wait up forever and a day to know. A tiny glimmer of Kate that no one else will ever experience, the press of her ribs against his skin and the condensation that falls from her lips in long, smooth ripples, a little piece of their life lived together.

And then, each night, as sleep finally pulls him in, he promises to always love two am and the true feeling of _his Kate_, to treat every night that he shares with her as a gift, and to never stop searching for the intricacies of her exquisite beauty.

* * *

To be continued..

Just a little thank you to you all for being so lovely to my first chapter - for the follows and favourites that have brightened a day of exam revision - I promise to reply to your reviews in morning, I'm sorry for the delay.  
And a special note of 'thank you' to my beloved Katie (katietheunicorn), you are magical!

I hope that you liked this update? ..please let me know what you thought if you have a moment to do so.

Thank you for reading,  
Katie x


	3. Three

**Three  
An afternoon of paperwork **

Even during the first case that they had worked together, a time and a place that now seemed to belong to a story that wasn't quite their own, as if they had seen too much of what it truly means to be alive to ever really know the people they had been back then – the almost them, the not really there, the half-selves who had yet to discover the excruciating wonder of life, even then the tiny flutterings of what was yet to come had been alive in the silly little games of flirtation that they had fallen so effortlessly into playing. The games of a writer and his muse, of ocean eyes and gently blushed cheeks, of a make believe language that spoke of lust, and longing, and love. For no matter how hard they had both tried to deny it, tried to ignore their thrumming hearts and racing blood, an afternoon of paperwork had always been so much more than the simplicity of its act, over the years becoming as much a part of them as the cup of coffee he still brings to her each morning.

And now, as he sits at the foot of her desk in the chair that feels almost as much like home as Kate's sleepy kiss on a cold Sunday morning, Castle cannot help but allow his mind to wander through the imaginary books that he has filled with tiny, fleeting moments of their time together. The hours and the days of endless paperwork and teasing glances that seeped into years without either of them realising, every second his heart falling more in love with the fiery detective who is currently doing her best to ignore the heated purpose with which he watches her.

He loves, perhaps most of all, the way that she playfully pretends to be annoyed with him. When he peeks over the top of his latest Candy Crush update and watches as she scribbles her way through the mountains of case reports that forever seem to litter her desk, waiting for the moment that he knows is coming, for the exasperated puff of air that escapes her lips and turns into a plea to _stop distracting her, to find something useful to do with his time! _He loves the storm that dances amidst the hazel forest of her eyes, the warning look that almost has him fooled – _almost. _But, deep down, they both know that her flushed cheeks are telling him to keep watching.

He loves the familiarity of her handwriting, the elongated flick and the beautifully crafted curve of each letter, the uniformed spacing, the perfect neatness that he has never had the patience for himself, the thick, carbon black stamp of 'KB' across the evidence lines, the faultless grammar of a true lover of literature, and the pause for thought that she takes before the most monumental words – a stuttered breath of something he isn't sure Kate even fully understands, as if by filling the world with these little silences she can wish away its demons by the pure force of her will.

He loves how she can be so many people at once, as if the wholeness of Katherine Beckett is too great to truly be whole, that there are depths and passageways to her soul far outreaching the understanding of anyone but him, of anyone but the boy blessed with the honour of truly knowing her.  
He loves the moments when she is so completely Detective Kate Beckett that she becomes an extension of the precinct, eyebrows furrowed and bottom lip drawn between her teeth, mind alight with her belief in justice and pen paving the way of her search for just that.  
He loves, too, the moments when she is beautifully Kate, distracted by the tick of the clock and the drag of the hours, wanting nothing more than to take his hand in her own and not stop running until they are alone and breathless and unravelled by passion. When she treads so very dangerously close to the edge, fingertips tracing fire along his leg and eyes hooded with too much knowing, holding out for as long as she dare with Gates so close by, finally breaking the mischief with laughter that bubbles throughout the entire bullpen.  
Then there are the moments that lie somewhere in-between, the times when she doesn't quite know who to be. The moments when he is her saviour, the soft nudge of his hip and the mug of coffee that will see her though the remainder of the afternoon, a promise that home will still be patiently waiting when she has finished her work.

He loves her, all of her, every version and in every possible way; Kate, Kate, Kate...

And there will come a time, under a blanket of starlight or the warm summer sun, when she will turn to him and ask, when exactly did he fall in love with her? - and to answer he will tell her a thousand interlocking stories of a single lifetime, each beginning with the blank expanse of clean, white paper and the click of her pen. Maybe she will understand, and maybe she won't; maybe it is something that can only be felt, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't try. He will tell her that every day he dreams of kissing the crinkle of her nose as she frantically writes to finish her case reports on time, how the speckle of black ink that never fails to stain the little dimple atop her right hand is his favourite part of the week, and, above all else, how an afternoon of paperwork will always taste of love.

* * *

To be continued..

I'm not entirely sure about this chapter - it is my least favourite so far, so I am a little wary of posting it.  
What did you think? .. stay or go - good or bad .. I'd greatly appreciate your feedback if you have the chance.

Thank you for reading, and wishing you a lovely day!  
Katie xx


	4. Four

**Four  
A message written in the steam on your bathroom mirror**

The cry of his alarm clock is a shock to the both of them, fracturing the sleepy comfort of their intertwined legs and blanketed warmth with its piercing demands of the day, a far too early wake-up call that leaves Castle yearning more than ever before for the lazy pleasures of a Sunday morning belonging only to them.

He wants the six am hour to be a mistake, a stuttering moment in time that can be ignored for a little while longer. He wants to lie in the curtained darkness of Kate's bedroom and feel the steady beat of her heart pressed so very close to his own. He wants to cherish every breath, to treasure every sniffle, to adore every mumbled word of love and make believe that tumbles from her kiss-blushed lips. He wants the sun to rise and the sky to be painted with colours that don't usually belong, purple rays of light that fall delicately across the dimples of her spine. He wants her to wake up all too suddenly and forget what day it is, and to hold her a little tighter as she does, whispering "It's only early, love. Go back to sleep". He wants to find inspiration in the dreams that play out like the movies against the heavy lids of her tired eyes, to sit with his back pressed to the headboard and search the entire world to find words beautiful enough to describe Kate Beckett as she sleeps. He wants, simply, to be with her.

But it is six am, maybe a quarter past by now, and all that he longs for must be saved for another day. A day when his appointment book isn't weighted by contract negotiations and publicity meetings, an endless circus of people who want to be there as little as Castle himself, a shared craving for home spurring the hours along as quickly as they can manage; just never quite quickly enough. A day of fighting for the truth of Nikki and Rook, for the story that he is so certain of. A day that will leave him exhausted, aggravated, and desperate for his beloved detective and all that the 12th precinct holds.

A day that can no longer be ignored.

* * *

It takes all of her strength to let him go, to feel the bitter rush of cold air and the rise of the mattress as Castle gently excuses himself from the press of her body, leaving her to sleep away the remaining hours of her morning off. She wants to call out to him, is a breath away from curling her fingers tight to the crook of his elbow and pulling him back to the sanctuary of her embrace, but deep down she knows that that wouldn't be fair; he would stay, he would stay because he loves her and he hates this day and all that she ever needs to do is ask, but she has to let him go.

So, instead, Kate lets him slip from her bed without a sound, burying herself to the warmth left behind by his body and breathing in all that he is. A thrill of love running through her veins as her mind drifts without protest to dreamy thoughts of all the mornings that are yet to come their way; still too shy, and perhaps even a little afraid of her feelings to voice them quite so everlastingly aloud, but quietly knowing that the musky joys of Castle's salted skin will always belong to the cotton threads of her bed sheets.

A thought that stays with her as she listens for the run of the shower, the creak of pipes as they fill with hot water and the muffled chorus of the city below flooding through the window that she knows he will forget to open. She waits as the tick of her Father's watch counts out _one, two, three_ minutes, imagining as she does the sleepy routine of the man she loves and envying the water that gets to kiss his tired limbs awake. She closes her eyes to the blissful ache of the night before, memories of passion and lust and laughter, the haunting depths of Castle's ocean eyes almost destroying her resolve to not distract him for an unavoidable day apart. She concentrates again on the present, on the passing of the minutes, _four, five, six, _each one filled with thoughts of cherry soap and billowing steam.

When enough time has passed for Kate to know that she won't be caught before her plan can be properly revealed, she steps carefully over their messily discarded clothes that lie scattered throughout her apartment and allows the hummed notes of a song she has come to think of as theirs to draw her towards the bathroom, a smile tugging at her hushed lips as she tip-toes across its tiled floor, stopping as she reaches the thickly misted mirror.

* * *

The ornate feeling of togetherness that greets Castle as he steps from the shower fills his heart with wonder, the dance of a hundred thousand fluttering butterflies who carry love on their wings and sing of the sweetness of Kate Beckett; a sweetness that is childishly written in the steam on her bathroom mirror. '**KB LOVES RC**' twirled across the glass like footprints in the snow, handwriting looped with the hurried draw of her fingertips and love hearts turned a little crooked with the running beads of condensation. Lopsided and imperfect, and all the more beautiful for it.

He walks back through to her bedroom to find Kate already fallen back to sleep, hair a tousled flow of curls and the midnight blue of his dress shirt emphasising the endlessness of her legs, the teasing unpin of its buttons telling him that she had meant to stay awake. A breathtaking contradiction of suggestive desire and utter adorableness. _  
_Reaching out to carefully pull her duvet up against the chill of the morning air, Castle stays, if only for a moment, to soak in all of her sleepy allure, pressing a soft kiss to her deeply dreaming lips as he replies to her message with words spoken for Kate alone, "I love you, too".

And then he is quickly on his way before he has the chance to change his mind and slip back beneath the covers for a morning of regretless love, taking with him a little piece of Kate to see him through the dreary hours until they are together again.

* * *

To be continued..

Firstly, I wanted to apologise for the time between updates - my A2 exams start on the 6th June, so revision has rather taken over. I will try to update as regularly as I can - please just stick with me for a little while longer.

And to thank you all for being so lovely to my little story, I really do appreciate it.

Thank you ever so much for reading,  
I hope that this chapter didn't disappoint?

Katie xx


	5. Five

For Eliza, the Kate Beckett to my Lanie Parish - thank you for always being so wonderful, for our daily Caskett smiles and a summer of snail mail. For Katie, the Meredith to my Cristina - thank you for the most magical friendship, I am so excited for our day of coffee and fangirling. And for all of the extraordinary people who I have met because of Castle - my world would be so dull and dreary without you.

* * *

**Five  
The Boy who broke Alexis' heart**

It was a quarter before seven when Kate heard the metallic click of a key in the front door, making her jump as she hummed along to the radio that Castle had so adorably tuned to her favourite station a few months earlier. She wasn't expecting him to be finished with his publicist meetings until at least half past, but after another long and dreary day without her plucky sidekick, she was just glad to have him home.

It was only supposed to have been a day of meetings; a rude awakening to their Monday morning, sweetened by the draw of her fingers in the steamed bathroom mirror and the kiss of love he had left against her sleepy lips in return, but one day had turned into two, and now they found themselves at the end of a week spent almost entirely apart. It had been harder than either of them had imagined, Castle cranky from the long hours of tortuous meetings and the precinct tinged with loneliness for Beckett; a week that they would both be glad to see the back of, and an ending that Kate planned to celebrate with home cooked food and a night spent blissfully together. A welcome home that was greatly needed by them both.

Quickly checking that the array of saucepans were still happily bubbling away and tucking an escaped curl of hair back behind her ear, Kate set the oven gloves neatly against the countertop, a little disappointed that she hadn't had chance to change out of her work clothes, but knowing that nothing else would matter just as soon as Castle walked into the kitchen and captured her so deliciously with a kiss that would taste of a week of absolute longing.

Only, it wasn't Castle who walked through the door; not her ruggedly handsome man wanting to share stories with her over a glass of their favourite wine, nor her beautiful writer whose hand she ached to hold as he lead her to the sanctuary of their bedroom, but rather his little girl, mascara a messy smudge across her tear stained cheeks, searching for the love and comfort of her Dad.

* * *

For a moment neither of them knew quite what to do, the gentle splutter of boiling water and roasting vegetables the only signs of movement to their stalemate, the cracks in their relationship feeling all of a sudden too great to cross. A ghostly echo of the pain that Kate had once caused Alexis; gone, but not yet forgotten.

But Kate was determined to not let that be the case any longer, she needed to fight through her trepidation of making things worse and believe that she had the ability to make them right. Once she had been someone important to Alexis; regardless of her partnership with Castle, her friendship with his daughter had stood proudly alone, and it was time for them to find their way back.

"Alexis?" she asked softly, turning off the stove and walking towards the entrance hall, her plans with Castle mere background noise to Alexis' tears that were threatening to fall once more.

"Is Dad home?" came her hurried question, words sharp with barely held back heartbreak.

"He will be soon," spoke Kate, already feeling Alexis start slip away, "I'll wait with you until he gets in."

"No," she replied, shocking the air with abruptness, not quite sure if she should apologise or continue with the same intention. "No, it's fine. I'm fine. You're busy, I'll just go upstairs."

"Alexis, please?" tried Kate, reaching for the hand that she had expected Alexis to pull away. She could hear the desperation in her own voice, but did nothing to hide it.

This was her last chance; a plea, an appeal, a hope that she would be able to soothe the thunderstorm reflected back at her from eyes so very tired of crying. It was a look that Kate knew all too well, one which still haunted her dreams in the lonely hours of the night, the vibrant eyes of the man she loves hollowed by her actions. Alexis stood before her as a looking glass into the past, to the night that she had torn Castle's heart from his chest in order to protect her own.

Sometimes that night felt as if it was nothing more than a distant memory, almost belonging to someone else, but other times, times like this, it was so harshly fresh in her mind that Kate was certain she could reach out her fingertips and be right back there; standing in her apartment with Castle not two feet away, tearing through every shred of his love as if it had meant nothing at all to her, too overwhelmed with fear and anger to even care when he had left, remembering only the empty stare of his heartbroken eyes.

His words would always be with her; a keepsake to a time that she had promised them both would never be seen again, a chained ring of their very own.

**_Ready for what? To die for your cause? This isn't a murder investigation anymore, Kate. They've turned it into a war._**

He had fought for her. Even as she had thrown it back at him and stood so definitely on her own, Castle had fought for her.

**_Well, I guess there's just nothing I can say, is there?_**

And then she had pushed too far, said too much, cared too little.

**_Yeah, you're right, Kate, it's your life. You can throw it away if you want, but I'm not going to stick around and watch you. _**

He had loved her. He had loved her enough for the both of them, but she simply hadn't been willing to accept it. To have loved him back would have destroyed her; of that she is certain, but doing so might just have been the greatest decision of her life. It would have left them open, honest, unveiled to the world. Given them a chance to thrive. She had just been too damn scared. She couldn't. Not then. Not that night.

**_So this is, uh... over. I'm done._**

Done. Four little letters that had said so much. Hate she could have taken, anger she would have welcomed, disgust she could have cured. But, done? Done is something so much worse; it is giving up, admitting defeat, looking into her eyes and seeing nothing at all; no hope, no future, no love. Done was a punishment. Done was a cruelty. Done was a broken heart.

Kate wouldn't allow that to happen again. She couldn't let Alexis just walk away with eyes so very sad and a story that needed to be told. If she did, if she just gave in and took the easy path, there would be no going back; they would be done. And maybe that had worked with Castle, maybe it had been exactly what they had both needed to see the impossibility of living a life without the wonder of their love and friendship, but she couldn't take that chance with Alexis. The past was there to be learnt from, not fought over. Mistakes made and chances taken, none of them really mattered. Alexis needed her now, in this moment.

Alexis needed her_. _

* * *

Kate could still see the reluctance written all over Alexis, even as she gave in and sat back against the corner of the sofa, every cell in her body was trying to keep itself shut off from the comfort that she knew Kate would be able to offer.

"We don't have to talk, okay? Not if you don't want to," Kate begun, nervous of her words in a way that she hadn't felt since her first weeks of working as a homicide detective; each sentence stumbling free as if her heart and mind weren't quite sure of one another. She was scared, but she wasn't running. "I'm here for you, Alexis. Whatever you need, I am here. I hope that you will talk to me; that you will let me help, but I promise that I am not going to push you for anymore than you want to give. We have ice cream and Julia Roberts movies, and if that is all that you need, then I am by your side all the way."

Alexis didn't reply; she didn't need to, the smile that tugged softly at her lips and the strawberry toppings she passed over to Kate answered far more than words. They both knew that Kate's kindness was working, that this would be another step to finally clearing the remnants of Alexis' uncertainty and hurt over the past years. She would let Kate in; she just needed a little more time with her own thoughts before sharing them. A trait which Castle referred to as being 'very Kate Beckett'.

* * *

Hugh Grant had just spilled his orange juice spectacularly over Julia Roberts when Alexis placed her bowl down on the coffee table, ice cream barely touched and melting around the edges. Turning towards Kate she started with stuttered words, quiet and almost afraid of being spoken aloud, as if keeping them to herself would have prevented their truth, "I broke up with him."

Kate's heart ached more and more for Alexis with each second that passed, the beautiful young woman sat before her seeming suddenly so small. She had heard stories of Alexis growing up, looked through pictures with Castle and watched home movies with Martha, but hearing her speak of the boy who had broken her heart that afternoon, Kate felt as if she had travelled back to those times. A little girl lost, questioning all that she had once known and needing the strong arms of her Dad to help pick up the pieces of her shattered world.

"I thought he loved me," continued Alexis, holding onto Kate's hands like a lifeboat in a storm, "I mean, it's been hard with classes at different times and studying for exams, but I thought that we were making it work. I know that it hasn't been easy for him, but nor has it for me. I was doing the best that I could, and then he just goes and sleeps with some girl from his dormitory. Who does that? Who thinks that cheating is going to fix things?" Her voice was stronger now, angry. "He was supposed to love me."

Kate caught Alexis as the anger and frustration crashed down into tears; real, spluttering, breath stealing sobs of all that had happened and all that was supposed to be, holding her close as she cried, a catharsis of finally allowing how she felt to be released. Kate knew that only time would truly take the pain away, but she hoped that whispered words and hair stroked into delicate curls would be enough to lessen Alexis' feelings of utter hopelessness; enough to see her through.

She remembered her last year of high school and the day that she had cried into the strength of her Mom's embrace, the first boy to break your heart never really leaving you. You had to fall in love with the wrong person, to fight and cry and bleed for a love that was destined to fail. You had to know a little of the bad to recognise the beautiful when it came your way; to find the person you were always supposed to love and sigh with relief, to know how a relationship is really supposed to feel. To know a love like the one she shared with Castle, true and strong and everlasting.

One day Alexis would look back to this day and be able to feel all of those things, but, for now, Kate would be her reassurance and her safety; not letting go until Alexis was ready to face the world again.

* * *

From the moment that Castle's last meeting had ended he had been working himself into a frenzy of worry, his phone beeping with tear broken voicemail messages from Alexis and every red light in the city seeming to block his way. Every force of his being tuned to his little girl, his pumpkin coming home in search of her Dad and finding nothing more than an empty apartment. He needed to be with her, to hug her, to wipe away the tears and promise that everything was going to be alright. He needed to be there.

But as soon as he made it home, flushed cheeked from his rush and in a state of near panic, every turbulent thought that he had seconds ago possessed melted into a love so pure that it stole his breath away. His extraordinary Kate Beckett never failing to surprise him in the most spectacular ways possible; his partner in every sense of the word.

He walked over to where they were both still sat on the sofa; Alexis cuddled against Kate's side, and Kate holding her tight as the quietly playing movie soothed her to sleep. Sitting gently on the other side of Alexis, careful not to wake her, Castle reached his arm around to hold them both, kissing Alexis sweetly atop her head and taking Kate's hand in his own. "Thank you," he whispered, more grateful than he would ever have the words to say.

"Always," replied Kate, squeezing his hand a little tighter and looking at him with a love that would never ask for gratitude.

It hadn't been the night that she had planned, but that didn't matter at all; this was her family, Castle and Alexis and all of the wonderful people who they were lucky enough to share their lives with, and that meant being there for every twist and turn that came their way. Life was about doing all that you could for the people you loved; sometimes that meant home cooked dinners and the delights of candlelit kisses, and others it was a moment of comfort during the worst of times.

* * *

To be continued..

I am so incredibly sorry for how long this has taken me to update - first it was exams, then the wonders of actually having sunshine in Britain, and finally a severe case of just not knowing what to write. Please forgive my lateness.

I hope that you enjoyed chapter five? Please do let me know what you thought.  
I thought that is was important to not make this exclusively about Castle and Beckett - every update will stem back to their relationship, but I hope to bring all of the other characters in as well.

Thank you for reading,  
Katie xx


	6. Six

I think that this update is perhaps a little odd - I just didn't want 100 chapters that were written in exactly the same way.

I hope that you enjoy!

* * *

**Six  
You are my home**

The post-it note that had been jauntily pressed to Castle's front door had almost escaped her attention entirely as Kate fumbled for her keys, arms laden with paperwork that needed to be finished for Monday and thoughts misted by a week of far too little sleep, but, just as the lock had clicked into place, a glimpse of strawberry pink paper had drawn her attention to the first little step of Castle's surprise.

Her complaints of seconds before disappearing entirely as she read its message, carefully taking in the words as they settled softly in her heart, the expressive curl of Castle's handwriting still exactly the same as the day she had stood in line at his book signing all those years ago. A distant saviour that she would always hold dear and a long ago secret to their intertwined past that Kate had promised herself she would share with Castle when the time was right; a conversation to be saved for a day soon to come.

Too thrummed with unexpected delight to wait any longer, Kate gently peeled the note from the door, reading it once more as she did.

_**This is where our story began - You knocked on my door and the world made sense. You kissed me and I came to life. You loved me and set my soul alight.**_

Her mind was awash with memories stirred by Castle's words as she let herself in, tingled by their night of thunderstorms and craving the kiss that had become so familiar in the months after. Every moment that they had since shared owed to a night that had been filled with the most excruciating of wonders; fierce kisses and desperate love, the agony of longing crashing into the ecstasy of being.

Kate had expected to find him there as she walked in, waiting with that infuriatingly handsome smile on his face and a comment to her flushing cheeks, but what she found had been so much more than she could have ever imagined. Everywhere she looked had been transformed by the flicker of candles, each golden flame set to illuminate a note like the one that had welcomed her, a treasure hunt mapped by a pathway of flower petals that was destined to take her on a journey of all that home had come to mean to Castle.

Letting her bags fall messily to the floor, Kate leant to pick up the note that lay a few steps ahead of her, feeling very much as if she had fallen into a fairytale world of make believe and star-crossed dreams.

_**This is where your high heels become bare feet – The ache of the day is forgotten as you fit so perfectly in the hold of my arms.**_

She couldn't help the laughter that bubbled deliciously from within as her toes pressed to the floor and she followed the note without even realising, wondering how it was possible for him to know her quite so absolutely. Castle's attention to even the smallest of details challenging that of the greatest detectives.

Following the scattered petals that weaved their way through the rooms, Kate came to her next candle in kitchen, set a little to the left of the green post-it that was curled to the shape of her favourite coffee mug.

_**This is where I see you smile each morning – I used to envy the cup of coffee that got to kiss your lips awake each morning, but now I have the honour of knowing their sleepy delights.**_

Kate's heart throbbed with the importance of the note that she held in her hand, and of the cup of coffee he still brought to her each morning. It was the very essence of who they were as a couple – as a partnership – the heavenly scents of vanilla cream and early morning love.

The next stop on her map of their world was just a step to the left, a glittering heart made of miniature tealights that pointed Kate to a note that spoke of a night two weeks before, leant against the saucepan that would forever remain a little stained by the pasta sauce that she and Alexis had swapped for the healing powers of ice cream.

_**This is where you saved Alexis from a broken heart – I can see your face as you read this, wanting to tell me that there is no need to say thank you, but I cannot help myself. We are all very lucky to have you as a part of our family. **_

It had been a long road back from the damage she had done to her relationship with Alexis, but the past couple of weeks had finally brought them through to the other side; fractured by their past, but stronger because of it. Castle had watched on with pride and adoration for them both as Kate and Alexis had slowly found the footings of their friendship once again.

The flower path then curved its way past the sofa, a post-it resting on the coffee table in fear of leaving the candles on the cushioned seats.

_**This is where you uncovered the secrets of my bucket list – I told you to cross it off, to set a line through 'Be with Kate' as if it was a past event, but, in truth, that is something that I will never be able to do. We have our entire future ahead of us to be treasured, and I promise that loving you will always be at the top of my list.**_

Kate wanted to run through the apartment until she found him, to rush into Castle's arms and promise him the same in return, to feel every word of the sentiments he had written for her that night; but she couldn't, not yet. There were still petals to be followed and messages to be read, and she didn't want to miss a single letter of Castle's intricately beautiful surprise.

The next note took her to an empty space on Castle's desk, cheeks blushing red even before she had read his teasing words.

_**This is where my photo frame used to stand – Now we both know why I chose you as my inspiration for Nikki Heat, and it certainly wasn't just because you're tall.**_

That night still had them giggling like teenagers fallen in first love whenever they thought of it, and Kate hoped that it always would. Castle had been locked away in his study for days, desperately searching for the inspiration to finish his latest endeavour into the world of Nikki and Rook, and Kate had known exactly how to help him. She had walked over to him with the seductive shimmer of a supermodel, white shirt slipping from her fingertips and lips painted like fire, eyes dancing with mischief as she had swept Castle's desk clear and pulled him hungrily towards her. Neither of them had noticed the broken picture until the next morning, laughter falling between heavy kisses and bodies blissfully ached after a night of channelling their literary counterparts.

Following the petals through the bedroom and to Castle's en suite, Kate found a bath almost overflowing with bubbles and floating candles, sunshine yellow post-it safely resting on the side.

_**This is where all Sunday afternoons should be spent – I had never really understood the joys of a bath before, but now I see that they are a little piece of heaven. They were made for the wonder of us. **_

Kate could feel the warmth of the water filling the room as she read, steam rising in delicate clouds and air soft with the scent of cherries. The bathtub had always been her sanctuary; time disappeared and the world melted away, a pleasure that seemed even greater now that she had Castle to share it with. Lazy hours of carefree conversation and soapy caresses were a joint luxury which they indulged in as much as possible.

The next post-it was clipped cheekily to the bathroom shelf that had become her own, neatly cluttered with the perfume bottles and body lotions that had steadily accumulated over the past months, along with the ceramic pot that Kate didn't remember bringing over to Castle's.

_**This is where your bobby pins can live – There are now 45 bobby pins in the little blue pot that I know you love so much; 45 bobby pins that were this morning scattered throughout this apartment. I thought it was time that we found them a home of their own. **_

Reaching up to pull her hair loose from the bun she had twisted it up in earlier that afternoon, Kate could feel her belly dancing with butterflies as she added two more to the collection. Forty-seven, she thought, forty-seven bobby pins had found themselves a home.

The trail of flower petals ended in a truly breathtaking array; during the minutes she had been in the bathroom, Castle had transformed the bedroom into a labyrinth of brightly flickering candles, an assortment of colours and sizes so vivid that Kate had needed a moment to simply take in their sheer wonder.

Following the glittering path she came to the last post-it of her mystical night, this time directing her to a letter that she hoped would explain a little more of Castle's plan.

_**This is where the next step in our journey begins – What have I gotten you into this time, ay? Don't worry, Detective, all will soon make sense. This letter is your explanation to my latest adventure into scheming.  
I'll be waiting at your starting point when you have finished reading...**_

Unpinning the letter from its place on Castle's bedroom door, she sat with her back pressed against the bed and cautiously slipped the paper free of its envelope, steadying herself with a deep breath before reading.

_**Kate,**_

_**The post-it notes that you have collected tonight are little points in a constellation of our life together, a tiny glimmer into an entire world that we have only discovered fleeting steps of. I find pieces of you everywhere that I look – from the front door that I cannot pass without remembering the electrifying feel of your body pressed against mine for the first time, to those bobby pins that I know will soon find their way back between the sofa cushions – you are a part of everything within these walls; you are my home.**_

_**I know that tonight has been filled with perhaps a little too much dramatic extravagance, but I wanted to do something that could fully express all that I feel for you; although, writing this, I realise that that would be an impossible feat. To swim every ocean and climb every mountain would not be enough. To capture every star and pick every flower would not be enough. You are extraordinary, and all that I can ever truly do is love you. I will love you completely. I will love you utterly. I will love you always. **_

_**We've been (almost) living together for so long now that this question seems a little silly, but I think that it is time we made our decision official. I want to wake up every morning to the cuddle of your sleepy limbs and fall asleep every night to kiss of your dreaming lips. Kate Beckett, will you move in with me?**_

_**With love and hope,  
Castle xxx**_

Reading the last words of Castle's letter without a single thought of uncertainty or trepidation, Kate held tightly to her bundle of collected post-its and walked as quickly as she could to the front door, body and soul craving the smile she knew would be waiting for her; a smile reserved only for the secret moments that passed between them, playful and daring and begging to be kissed.

"So?" he asked, eyebrow creased with knowing and a flat pack of moving boxes gathered in the entrance way.

"You know, you could have just asked," she replied, letting him wonder for a moment, eyes shadowed by her lashes as she closed the distance between them.

"I'm a writer, this was more..."

"Hopeful?" interrupted Kate, lips tantalisingly close to Castle's as she teased him with a conversation they had shared during one of the first cases that they had ever worked together; a flirtatious map of her own.

"But you're a cop," he returned, turning the tables on their little game of temptation.

"I'm a cop," she agreed, every nerve in her body dancing with an almost painful need for him, but not willing to fold just yet.

"Move in with me?" he whispered, palms a shock of heat against the satin skin of Kate's lower back as he gave in to her triumphant victory and pulled her fiercely towards him, breath catching between them with the ferocity of their longing.

"Yes," she breathed, words barely audible as his lips captured hers and her hands drew themselves up to the hold of his shoulders, "Yes, I'll move in with you."

And then they were lost to the passion of the night, open mouthed kisses trailed against salty skin and bodies tangled by the thrill of love, welcoming each other to their first pinpoint of living together.

* * *

To be continued...

Thank you all very much for reading, and for the kindness that you have shown my little story so far. It is so greatly appreciated.

Please do let me know what you thought of this chapter? (I am using reviews as a greatly needed distraction from results day!)

I hope to be back with another update soon,  
Katie x


	7. Seven

I know that this differs to how Gates 'finds out' about Castle and Beckett's relationship in the show, but I am writing this story as AU after the 100th episode, so I thought that this was a good place to show how it happens in my little world of fanfiction.  
I hope you enjoy...

* * *

**Seven  
Telling Gates**

The smoky sweetness of blown out candles still hung faintly in the air as Kate woke up that morning, gently brought back to the waking world by the weekend symphony of the city below and all that she hoped the hours ahead of them would hold.

She had expected to find her morning littered with butterflies and nerves; an uncertainty that had all too often raised its ugly head and tainted her happiness in the past, but was instead welcomed by a contentment that took her beautifully by surprise. The wonderful man sleeping soundly by her side and the invitation to make his house a home for them both offering a calmness that Kate had so little experience of. For years she had been running, hiding, living in the shadows of her own life, fooling herself into believing that a suffocating reverie of numbness was the only way to survive, but that was something which she had vowed to be done with. Castle had taken her by the hand and lead her steadily into the light - slowly, painfully, lovingly – he had taught her how to breathe; how to feel, and she wasn't afraid anymore. _She wasn't afraid._

Turning to face Castle with heavy limbs and a tickled warmth in her belly that sung of their night before, Kate couldn't resist the draw of his sleepy handsomeness, sweeping his mussed hair softly to the side and watching the golden light as it danced between the long lashes that curtained his opal eyes, she planted kisses like tiny daisies against his skin.

"Good morning," he whispered, pulling her close and pressing his words to her unsuspecting lips.

"Sorry," she murmured, reluctant to break away for even a second "I didn't mean to wake you."

"But I am very, very glad that you did," he replied, words sparking fire within them both and his palms sliding along the tantalising curve of her spine.

"Oh, you are?" she questioned, her tone flooded with knowing.

"I am," he agreed, mesmerised by the curls of chestnut hair that tickled his chest as Kate settled across his lap, teasing him just a little.

Unable to hold back any longer, she parted his lips with her tongue, kisses bold and brave, hips rolling against Castle's and aching to have him so much closer. They didn't need words or explanation, just the certainty of their love – the future was messy and unpredictable, but, together, it was exactly where they were supposed to be.

* * *

Later that morning, as she lay cuddled to the salted warmth of Castle's chest, Kate found herself lost to day dreams of what it would mean to live together. To wake up to coffee each morning and to sleep in Castle's arms each night. To feel his fingers slip between her own as they leisurely wandered the grocery store on Sunday afternoons, playfully pulling his ear as he tries to sneak smorelette ingredients into their basket. To invite their family and friends over for dinner parties and poker games and celebrating special occasions. To slam their bedroom door in anger and frustration, knowing that Castle will be waiting on the other side until she is ready to forgive him. To kiss him deeply when she does. To line up their books beside each other, neither quite remembering who they belonged to first. To go home together at the end of each day... oh!

"We have to tell Gates," she said, words hurried and shocking herself away from blissful imaginings.

"Huh?" mumbled Castle, utterly adorable and half asleep.

"We have to tell Gates about us," she clarified, sitting up and taking a hold of the hand that had been wrapped tightly around her waist, "before I move in, we need to tell her."

"Kate," he breathed, not quite sure if he had the courage to say all that needed to be said.

"I know," she replied, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against his strong palms, allowing them both a quiet moment to soak in the familiar comfort before continuing, "I know what telling Gates means, but, we always knew that it was something we would have to face eventually."

"But..." he tried, not wanting to ever let go of their partnership.

Kate stopped him before he could protest any further, needing to finish her explanation before she lost her nerve entirely. "I am terrified of doing this; not because everybody will know, but because it might mean that I lose you from the precinct. Going to work each morning and knowing that you aren't going to be there with ridiculous theories to brighten our day and a smile made especially for me would be excruciating, but we would survive it. We're moving in together, and I want that to be a change for every part of our life. I want to walk into work with you at the beginning of the day and leave with you at its end. I want to take your hand without checking around the corner first. I want you to hold me when the monsters of this world have stolen all of its goodness and I want to kiss you when we bring them to justice. I don't want to hide anymore, Rick."

"I want that, too," he smiled, words catching with all that he felt for the woman sat before him; love and awe and sheer admiration for how far she had come - _how far they had come_.

"We're telling Gates?" she asked, voice shaken, but eyes bright with the pure thrill of life.

"We're telling Gates," he replied, worry dissipating with the kiss of her lips; his extraordinary Kate Beckett, fierce and determined and unafraid.

* * *

Castle couldn't take his eyes off of her as the elevator climbed slowly towards the 12th precinct, absorbing every detail as if it was his last chance to do so, cherishing the final seconds of their working world as they had known it for the past five years. In that moment she was everything that he so dearly loved; she was Katherine, she was Detective Kate Beckett, and she was every exquisite colour of the spectrum which ran between the two. Truly a force to be reckoned with.

He caught her attention just before the bell rang to indicate their floor, squeezing tightly to her hand and searching the depths of her eyes; a delicate glimmer of fear telling him Kate was suddenly feeling as nervous as he was, a looking glass to her soul if only you had the patience to learn how to read their enchanting beauty. "Whatever happens, you will always be my partner."

"Thank you," she spoke, wanting so desperately to kiss him, but knowing that she couldn't. They had mere fractions of seconds before those doors slid open and their fate was passed into the hands of Captain Victoria Gates. To kiss him now would unravel the last, tenuous strings of her already faltering resolve, and she needed to be prepared, ready to fight for the man she loved and the partnership she believed in. They had been through so much, survived the impossible, overcome the unbeatable, and they deserved much more than to be torn apart by the pettiness of office rules and regulations.

And then the doors they had stood before a thousand times opened once more and their fingers fell painfully by their sides, a deep breath and a shared smile all that they had to prepare themselves for what lay ahead, feet stepped perfectly in time as they walked towards the lion's den...

* * *

Kate knocked confidentially on the door to Gates' office, waiting for the familiar call of "come in" before they entered, Castle so close that she could feel the sticky heat of his breath against the back of her neck, every cell in her body tuned to the addictive attraction that reverberated between them.

"Detective Beckett," she greeted, the obvious omission of Castle not missed by anyone in the room, "isn't this your weekend off?"

"Yes, Sir, it is," answered Kate, wondering if there was still time to change her mind.

"And yet here you are, stood in my office. I presume whatever it is couldn't wait until Monday morning?" she replied, straightening out the paperwork that she had clearly been in the middle of.

"Castle and I... errrm... we, we have something that we need to tell you."

"Well?" she questioned, taking perhaps a little too much pleasure in watching the couple stood before her squirm under the intensity of her gaze.

"We have been... no, we are. We are in..."

"You are in a romantic relationship?" suggested Gates, unable to watch her struggle so helplessly for any longer. In truth, she had been expecting this conversation for a while, having come to know Kate Beckett well enough throughout her years at the 12th to trust that she would be informed of their relationship when the time to do so arose.

"You knew?" spluttered Castle, the first to find his voice.

"I am the Captain; I know everything that goes on within my precinct," she replied, flexing the arms of her reading glasses before placing them purposefully on her desk, "which also means that I know how well the two of you have worked together during the past five years. That is not to say that this is an arrangement that I agree with, but it is one that I support in the name of the outstanding reputation that the 12th precinct prides itself on, as I believe your partnership to be an integral part of that."

"Why didn't you say anything before?" asked Kate, unable to hide the elation from her voice.

"I needed to maintain plausible deniability, which I can continue to do, as long as you both act professionally in all areas of your work."

"Yes – Absolutely," they replied, speaking over each other in their rush to agree with all that Gates had asked of them, neither wanting to do anything that could jeopardise the opportunity they had been given.

Gates dismissed them with a nod towards the door, using her earlier paperwork to distract from the smile that tugged at her lips and threatened to expose her cautiously concealed joy for her most promising detective and her plucky sidekick; theirs was a love story to rival the greatest of tragedies, and everyone, herself included, had breathed a sigh of relief when they had finally realised that their happily ever after had been right in front of them all along.

"Detective, Mr. Castle?" she called, stopping them just before they let themselves out, allowing her iron mask to be lifted for a just a moment, "Congratulations."

"Thank you, Sir," smiled Kate, fingers bravely entwining with Castle's as they said goodbye, knowing that the strict barriers of professionalism would be fully raised come Monday morning.

* * *

Stepping back onto the elevator, hearts lifted with joy and neither quite certain of what had just happened, Kate didn't waste another second of their weekend, wrapping her arms around Castle's shoulders and letting her body fall into his awaiting embrace, both bubbled with stunned laughter as they shared in their secret celebration.

"You will always be my partner," she whispered, an echo of the love that Castle had spoken not half an hour before, lips capturing his own with a kiss that turned her words into a promise.

* * *

To be continued...

I just wanted to say congratulations to everyone who received their A Level results this week! (I know that exam results will be happening all summer - but I was sharing in the nerves of A Levels).  
Just in case anyone was wondering, I am off to uni in September to study Biomedicine.. which is a little step close to becoming my very own Lanie Parish :)

Thank you all very much for reading!  
Please do let me know what you thought.

With love,  
Katie x


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